thoughts, they flow

i feel old. hate, it tires me. aged by the bitterness of life. i count the empty days that never waits for me. chasing. chasing dreams. dreams that remain unattained. unchangingly, unattained. i want it. i want you. but you. you are never here. stay there. where you are. because intimacy damages me. me. me. ME. how narcissistic. secretly narcissistic. arent we all? yes you are. denying it would be hypocritical. hypocritical hypocrites. arent we all? how ironic. i've lost my ability to judge superficially. being shallow, is a blessing. trusting superfice is easier. easier than what exactly? people are never exact these days. vagueness is safe. seek comfort in obscurity. maybe thats why i'm nonspecific. always ambigous. with everything i say. and think. whats the point of thinking then. if everything is pointless. not pointless. just vague. so vague that it's pointless. talk in circles. think in circles. why do you want to confuse? so you sound more profound with the complexity of your thoughtless flow of thoughts? i dont know. i wasnt aware that i was talking in circles. until the circle was formed i suppose. pity pity those who try to understand.